the yuckies

Moody Lymie, at work.

I woke up in a bad mood today. I don't know why. It's Friday, it's payday, it's sunny and 74 degrees. I have a whole weekend of theater friends and gatherings and food and good times in front of me.

What's going on?

I've been asking myself that all day. What's the real problem? Could it be that my ex flew off this morning with his new wife for a belated honeymoon? Or that one of my best friend's mother just died and I haven't seen him for two days, and phone calls aren't cutting it? Am I doing enough? Why do I feel guilty? Or is it that my sore throat, which killed me continually for three weeks, is back again, after I felt better? Or the Lyme symptoms of tingling, twitching, burning, neuro legs and feet are in full force today? That I haven't slept enough this week because my sleeping patterns are so screwed up at the moment? Is it how I look? How I feel?

I'm trying to get to the bottom of it. I have this unsettled feeling that something isn't quite right. Something isn't sitting well in my brain. It's floating around and bouncing and being elusive. I can't see what it is. I feel restless, like I'm ready for something to happen NOW. I want to run out of the building into the parking lot and hit it head on, full force. What is it? Where is it? And why is it taking so long?