male magnet

The cucumber. I love how Marvin the Martian on my mug looks so startled.

Today at work, I went down to my old department to chat with some co-workers. One person had a bag of cucumbers on her desk from her garden and asked if I'd like one. I said "yes", picked one out of the bag, and stood there clutching it. She said "hmmm. Do you want to put it in a bag for the walk back to your desk?" Because it looked a little phallic. I said, "Nah, I think it's funny. And it's a short walk and I never run into anyone."

I walk back through the shop and the testing area, through the door into our office, round the corner to my desk. And there are 4 male managers standing there waiting for me, plus my boss. What's a girl to do? I waved my cucumber in the air and said "how I can I help you?" Now, I knew these people, so it's not like I was too inappropriate. They all laughed and my boss said "don't even go there!" After they left, I said, "no one ever comes in here. And the day I'm clutching a cucumber, all these men show up!"

Then I'm doing another project with the cucumber sitting in the middle of my desk. I hear feet behind me, and here comes a TOUR of men, six of them, four of which were young hotties - visitors to our company who are working with us on some engine project and being shown around the building. I am polite and smiley, but I see them eyeing my cucumber.

So my new plan to attract men is to always, always have a cucumber with me.