Wednesday, March 26, 2008

moving forward

Happy birthday, Sweet Girl!

Easter came and went in a blur. One second I was wolfing down ham and green bean casserole and hanging out with my parents, and the next I was slouched in my chair at work, blinking and drinking coffee to wake up. I had so much fun with my nieces. We painted a tea set, watched Hannah Montana, listened to Hannah Montana's CD (I have to tell you: I'm not getting the whole Hannah Montana thing!), and played outside in the melting snow.

I'm feeling mentally stronger this week. Last week I got the latest test results from my Lyme doctor, and once again, I'm making no progress. I've been plateauing since last July, just not getting better. I mean, I've made huge strides since beginning treatment, and my doctor has helped me so much. Right now he thinks I've come to the end of antibiotics, so no more Biaxin - I've been off it for a week. Beyond that, he's not exactly sure how much he can help me - he's going to think about it and "try some things out". I was so depressed and wiped out at the news, and now feel at a crossroads. Do I find a different doctor for another opinion? Explore alternative methods of healing? Follow my doctor's plan and hope for the best? Design my own healing plan?

One thing I learned since having Lyme is that you HIRE your doctor. They work for you. If you don't trust them/like them, if they can no longer help you, or if you don't agree with their treatment, it's time to find someone you're comfortable with. In the end, your healthcare is up to you. I have no qualms about thanking a doctor for all they've done and telling them it's time for me to move on. I mean, I fired seven doctors before finally getting diagnosed with Lyme.

I'm mulling everything over and not making any quick decisions. One thing I do know is that I need to get in charge of what I'm putting in my body. I was doing so well earlier this year, and then I completely fell off the bandwagon, what with beer and cast parties and beer and birthday parties and beer and social gatherings, game nights, work events, and beer beer beer. Why can't beer be the key to healing Lyme? The secret to all that is vibrant and healthy? Tell me.

Anyway, I'm exploring many different things that I want to include in my personal treatment plan. One thing is raw foods. My goal is to include as many raw vegetables in my diet as possible. I'm already juicing, but I plan to do this daily instead of a few times a week. I also intend to eat a big green leafy salad every day with plenty of sprouts. I will limit the carbs and eliminate as much sugar as possible. I keep reading about cancer survivors and people battling all sorts of diseases, and a common thread running through many of their healing plans (check out Kris Carr's inspirational blog) is eating in this way.

So here I go.


me said...

to health and happiness!

love you!

Megan said...

not many things surprise me more than when i completely and utterly enjoy eating things such as celery, cauliflower, and carrots. sure, i have a couple boxes of girl scout cookies in the freezer, but somehow the raw veggie munch sure hits the spot. good to hear your new goal!

Genie said...

Again, I feel you. It's monumentally frustrating to just NEVER FEEL BETTER. Even exercise makes things worse. Quite often I find myself thinking how nice it would be to just start over. I'm tired of being tired.

I've done SO much with alternative healing and medical too. I just feel like if I could exercise again and build muscle again that so much would improve. But I've believed that about other things and it didn't happen for me.

I can't tell you anything to lift you up except to remind you that you aren't alone. I remind myself that, hey, at least I wasn't born in Darfur and that tends to put things into perspective for just a little while.